Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. Common words are needed to keep the book to a reasonable size and an affordable cost. Drinking cold small beer. Big Book content exclude its stories. Little or nothing, we saw at last. Nazar Paulista, Pedra Bela, Pedreira, Pinhalzinho, Piracaia, Serra Negra, Valinhos, Vrzea Paulista e It will permit the rehabilitation of good men. Of course it was. The first 164 pages are unchanged from the book's first printing in 1939. Among us are wives, relatives and friends whose problem has been solved, as well as some who have not yet found a happy solution. That was the last honest manual labor on my part for many a day. He seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect to other problems. The Big Book outlines the AA program of recovery. The seed has been planted in his mind. Many of us have experienced dads elation. But these scrapes can generally be charged, no matter how bad, to the abnormal action of alcohol on his mind. Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. Resentment grows. We know these suggestions are sometimes difficult to follow, but you will save many a heartbreak if you can succeed in observing them. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. It does not exist for us. We think we are sensible when we urge that you stop this waste and give your worthwhile man a chance. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. Jerry needed to know so he started upon a project to identify the changes that were made to various printings and editions of the Big Book. When ready, we say something like this: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just where he had left off at thirty. The same principle applies in dealing with the children. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. The wives and children of such men suffer horribly, but not more than the men themselves. It does not contain the clear-cut directions! Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. In the prize ring, this would be called leading with the chin. Exceptions to cases such as yours have been occurring since early times. But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. This resulted in A.A.'s first group, at Akron, Ohio, in 1935. such cases was not so well understood as it is now. You should continue to be friendly to them. She will want to know who the woman is and where she is. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. Clarence S.) Question: What does W e, ofAlcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have re-covered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so. Mother made all the plans and gave the directions. Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation. And now you know that he can stop if he will! My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he cant feel the ache. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. With these we have had experience galore. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. You may have the reverse situation on your hands. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic. And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Of course we couldnt. We landed in England. Permit that and you only harm him. Let us take another illustration. Seeing your attempt to understand and help, some men will try to take advantage of your kindness. Pg.162: Many of us have felt, for the first time, the Presence and Power of God within its walls. 99 DC Superhero Girls Deluxe Harley Quinn Costume 49. 4.61. Husbands and wives have sometimes been obliged to separate for a time until new perspective, new victory over hurt pride could be re-won. He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesnt think so. Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Each is interested in having his or her wishes respected. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. Father, coming suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself. To all appearance he is a stable, well balanced individual. You fellows know your stuff all right, but I dont see what good itll do. We asked ourselves why we had them. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. Hes just beaten up a couple of nurses. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. Simple. While drinking, he accepted a sum of money from a bitterly-hated business rival, giving him no receipt for it. How heartbreaking was this discovery; how cruel to be told they understood our men as we did not! People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. This sort of thing can be avoided. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. The more you type, the more precise the results. Scoffers could scoff and be damned. Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. We made it when we took inventory. Aint it grand the wind stopped blowin?. Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who should be committed. The first 164 pages of the Big Book is the outline for recovery, which constitute the "program" of recovery. His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already. Bill Wilsons influence can be seen in many ways in the book, including the words and language used and also in the style that it was written. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. My incredible behavior in the face of a desperate desire to stop was explained. Bills Story. Now these are commonplace observations on drinkers which we hear all the time. Our moments of triumph were short-lived. He becomes a religious enthusiast. Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We wouldnt treat sick people that way. If that is so we are sorry, for we ourselves dont always care for people who lecture us. If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didnt go far enough. But we must go further and that means more action. You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink. They will change in time. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? We had to have Gods help. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Use 164andMore.com to search the Big Book and the 12&12. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums. For years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustration. Well be down., Two days later, a future fellow of Alcoholics Anonymous stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. It depends on us and on our motives. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! We feel we ought to say to her that we have no right to involve another person. Take the Big Book wherever you go! If he is, and is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job. Let us be reassured. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. These are not pleasant companions. He is not so unbalanced as they might think. Of an evening, you can go on a mild bender, get up in the morning, shake your head and go to business. When drinking, they were strangers. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of whiskey in my milk it couldnt hurt me on a full stomach. Do not ask that he do it for you or anyone else. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. This is the Great Fact for us. In the midst of an understanding and sympathetic family, these vagaries of dads spiritual infancy will quickly disappear. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. With us it is just like that. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing. Then only might I expect to receive. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. We have not even sworn off. But our man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. We went to live with my wifes parents. He may, for example, reveal that he has padded his expense account or that he has planned to take your best customers away from you. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. Probably there are still some misgivings. We see that these expressions refer to people whose reactions are very different from ours. Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he neednt see you again if he doesnt want to. These juniors are often in a difficult position. Some of you are thinking: Yes, what you tell us is true, but it doesnt fully apply. He got drunk. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. Some of the promises are directly associated with completion of a step. Over and over, when I was new, peopleincluding mewere repeatedly told to read the Big Book. We were also told that this meant: The Doctors Opinion and the first 164 pages (This was the number of pages that preceded the Personal Stories in the Book). Also, grammar has been changed in some cases, as well as, the numbers cited have been changed to reflect the growing fellowship over the decades. You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours a day. Can you charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him? You may have an earlier or different edition. Try to drink and stop abruptly. You will want to know more of how to proceed from that point. Dad may be tired at night and preoccupied by day. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. The purpose of the Big Book is to show precisely how numerous alcoholics have recovered. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence. So two bottles, and-oblivion. Yet he got drunk again. I sat down at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. If you propose such a procedure to him, it may be necessary to advance the cost of treatment, but we believe it should be made plain that any expense will later be deducted from his pay. Both saw that they must keep spiritually active. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. You can help when no one else can. We avoid retaliation or argument. Pg.163: You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power so much greater than . Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. His reaction may be one of enthusiasm. These give a fair cross section of our membership and a clear-cut idea of what has actually happened in their lives. He did, and also sent a small amount of money. This seemed to me like an opportunity to be helpful, so I spent two hours talking about alcoholism, the malady, and described the symptoms and results as well as I could. Tomorrow was another day. Of course, this chapter refers to alcoholics, sick people, deranged men. Yet they got well. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become. The Big Book is a Text Book The first 164 pages of the Big Book are the basic text. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. Over and over, he would say: Thats me. A contradiction! As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work. To you, some of the ideas which it contains are novel. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Whenever possible, let your husband explain. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. I had to concede both propositions. The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drinking, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless. The first 164 pages of the Big Book is the outline for recovery, which constitute the "program" of recovery. Amen. We have then completed Step Seven. Undoubtedly we should admit our fault. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. For three for four months the goose hung high. Drinking occasionally, and understanding your own reactions, it is possible for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned, are not always so. I dare to disagree with the words of Bill Wilson. These are followed by forty-three personal experiences. My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone: When we were finished we considered it carefully. However, it might be easy to forget that there are many more scattered throughout the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere. Why was it, when these dangers were pointed out that they agreed, and then got drunk again immediately? The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time! Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting mens gathering places of all sorts, often staying up all night. But you must be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you under-stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start. Freds story speaks for itself. Be satisfied he is not deceiving himself or you. Subscribe to our newsletter to receive the latest news, blogs, and so much more! Though, it is an impressive number when you stop to consider how many pages are in the Big Book. Many of us have heard of the Ninth Step Promises from page 83-84 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. Here, for instance, is a typical example: An officer of one of the largest banking institutions in America knows I no longer drink. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. If he does not want to stop drinking, dont waste time trying to persuade him. Here is a brief account: Years ago, in 1935, one of our number made a journey to a certain western city. No St. Helena for me! The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective. A firm attitude at this point has helped many of us. One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd. The 164 and More Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only). Father will necessarily spend much time with other alcoholics, but this activity should be balanced. Had not people said God had reserved this privilege to the birds? The 164 and More web site. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. And but for the intervention of an understanding person, I might have followed in their footsteps. How many pages is the AA Big Book? Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. His action met wide-spread approval, and today he is one of the most trusted citizens of his town. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. While the program is considered a suggested method for dealing with the disease of Alcoholism, there are places within the Big Book where the authors used the word MUST. The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. On the third day the lawyer gave his life to the care and direction of his Creator, and said he was perfectly willing to do anything necessary. This world of ours has made more material progress in the last century than in all the millenniums which went before. Sometimes they were so inaccessible that it seemed as though a great wall had been built around them. When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations. Unlike the feelings of the ships passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. Next he can be assured that you do not intend to lecture, moralize, or condemn; that if this was done formerly, it was because of misunderstanding. On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. The publication of this book has not been authorized or endorsed by, and does not imply affilia-tion with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. or the General Service Office of Alcoholics Anonymous. We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. there exists strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Surprisingly enough, we find such convictions no great obstacle to a spiritual experience. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. There is doubt about that. Avoid urging him to follow our program. We explain to our partner what we are about to do and why we have to do it. Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God. There is a solution. When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. Michele Dotrice Wiki, Following his discharge, we contacted him. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. We want to stay out of this controversy. He looked straight at me. I use Book Antiqua 11 for regular books, and 16 points for large print. Favorite Passages in the Big Book There are four editions of the Big Book. But this is not an end in itself. To give up resistance: He finally capitulated and agreed to do the job my way. At one end of the room stood a glass covered directory of local churches. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism. In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things? At the same time you will feel no reluctance to rid yourself of those who cannot or will not stop. Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. is a dependable reference source for essential literature used in Every sentence in the Big Book (pp.1-164) and the 12&12 is indexed alphabetically. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession.
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