We would talk every day and I felt like we had a good connection. Don't get comfortable and slide back into old habits. I dont want to hang out with someone who acts cold & we never did a decent no contact Any advice? Being friends once again can help you revert to the old relationship, and may even lay the foundation for a better and stronger relationship. Don't Try to Convince Her to Get the "Relationship Label" Back Right Now. How do you think I should go about this cause Im stuck. Even if you dated someone in high school or years ago it is still possible for you to start a new love story with that person if you set your mind to it. Often when you become friends with your ex you are placing yourself in a position of weakness. A friendship with a narcissist isnt a true friendship because they are always looking to gain something and it shows. I did my best and man it felt good joking with her and seeing her smile again. They gloat over the unfair control they have over peoples life. You and your ex share a past. You have to be careful with the friend zone so I suggest a coaching session. Its possible he started seeing/talking to other people and got a huge raise to the ego. Weve finally gotten to the difficult part the magic solution to turn things around with your ex, and give the relationship another try. As I said, if you want to be together with your ex again, and your ex boyfriend wants to be friends, (even if they say that they dont have feelings for you anymore), you shouldnt settle for being their side-chick or their friend with benefits unless this is something that actually makes you happy. I had lost respect (hence the breakup) and worked on myself to get past things so it really wasnt a big deal to me emotionally AND I did enjoy speaking because he was my best friend. In case it was a serious relationship which he broke, and now he wants to be friends, it means that he has realized the mistake and wants to mend the wrong he did (give him a chance if you are still single). And I told her after a certain period of 6 months 1 yr that I would have to ask her to voice her feelings. A relationship with no commitments and the freedom to look elsewhere is a convenient prospect; it provides them with the best of both worlds. Then proceeded to tell me he wants to just be friends and does not want more than that. She reached out after a week with an indirect direct approach. For other their best friends may hold the top position. She then said, my feelings are going down. I often see dumpees shut down their exs friendship coldly and thoroughly. Unfortunately, its a black or white situation. And that is the impression of moving on and being happy on your own. in the beginning so I started one 9 days ago. I am so angry but our daughters have missed their mother. What separates these people from having these different conversations? As long as everything is fine and dandy, exes are not going to be concerned about their past behavior. For example, if you do 30% of initiating, your ex must do 70%. Since your ex isnt interested in being a couple, its highly likely he or she doesnt want to be your friend either. Could you be dating someone else and youre actually happier without him? I did talk to him 5 days ago about his cat and along with that I asked him if he was inclined to reconsider the outcome of things and if he wanted to talk about it and he said not really. Sure, every once in a while youll hear about a story a mother throwing herself in front of a bus to save her children but those kinds of people are in the minority. 2. It should be a well-thought decision whether or not you want to continue being in touch with each other. Your ex changed his attitude toward you because he no longer feels smothered. 4. Read more articles and show your ex you can give him the space he wanted. My ex broke up with me recently, but will contact me once a week. It might be something emotional and romantic or it could be something as practical as sharing the fuel expenses or using that club membership card that you had; in any case, your ex misses the perks of being a part of your life. Take care not to over-analyze the situation. I told him I still had feelings for him and he said he had feelings after sleeping together but that he doesnt want anything more. They want to see . How can a person kill a relationship in their head by focusing on negative and creating future problems in the head?. Your ex regrets breaking up with you. The following two tabs change content below. I took a step back and left him alone. Assuming you do start dating someone else I havent met many people that are cool with their girlfriends or boyfriends being friends with their ex. I say this not to be controversial but to help you understand why your ex wants to be friends with you after a breakup. If he truly wants to be your friend/ misses you, he will reach out. She cant think about the relationship and just wants her space. Hi, would really be grateful to have some advice. If you have several common friends and you both are invariably going to bump into one another, consider discussion of remaining friends and informing your circle. But since last call, I have not responded to her guilty free checks: hi how are you? When youve got an ex that wants to be friends, the very first step is to figure out exactly what you want deep down. Scroll down for six real-life stories from women who are still friends with their exes, whether for the sake of the kids or out of respect for the love they once shared, then head to the comments and tell us what your relationship is like with your ex today. At some point she said being on the phone is too much for her, we need to cut it down. One of the biggest reasons that exes see one another again is that they have to get things back from each other. How do you know? Thats just ridiculous and unfair that she is not acknowledging my genuine concern, interest. This was all right before things went silent. Sussman also says there are potential downsides to staying friendly with an ex. Even though you would move mountains and cross deserts to be with your ex one more time, you must allow him or her to start repairing things from the beginning. Im going to the gym. But she has become a person I almost dont recognize in some ways.. I went no contact for around 2 months. It can be a hard (but not impossible!) My Ex Is Being Influenced By His Friends. There are however universal attributes every person in this world finds attractive. Presumably, she should be strong enough to handle the breakup aftereffects on her own. 1. For some people, this idea breaks their heart because theyre still in love with the person and they want to get back together. To dumpers, its incredibly empowering, and one of the reasons why exes come back into our lives. If you respect yourself, you have to stop talking to him. I know her behaviour. It's hard to have boundaries, especially after a breakup. On one hand, I hoped I would get him back, on the other hand, it broke me when he suggested me to consider one of our mutual friends. 8 things to do when an ex contacts you years later. Staying friends with your ex has absolutely no positive benefits. He's feeling sentimental. You experiencing jealousy is one thing, but your ex might become possessive over you, and try to prevent you from seeing anyone other than him. But I said it first as I felt he was slipping and he was more focused on other things which I fine but I never saw him. 1. We hangout one time and she allowed me to kiss her. Or in that case should I show her that Im here for her ? Go back to only sending streaks without opening his snaps? Because youve dedicated so much time to this person, and you feel uneasy towards him or her, you believe the friendship you were offered is a steal. Breaking up is not easy for most people. Something tells me the sound of that doesnt make you exuberantly happy, as you now want even more than before, while your ex wants less or none. Even attempted to cheat right before he broke up with me. Sutton Stracke expressed that if she had . We didnt have any labels on the relationship, but it was very intense. Hi, "Sometimes that will hold you back from going into a new . After 2 days, he completely stop speaking to me and 2 weeks later he said we were not together so he didnt owe me any explanation. hey..my ex and me broke up a few months ago..i am doing no contact but he is hinting he just wants to be friends with me..even after no contact..what should i do..? I have three main thoughts Id like to discuss with regards to this question. He hasn't met someone new yet. And well over 20 million men and women have visited my websites and a good segment of them have asked me questions. Being friends with an ex that wants to control you is pretty much the same as dating them. You see, Ive been doing this for almost 7 years now and Ive seen a lot in my time. With 30 years of experience in the field, she provides therapy for couples and individuals - young and mature. Keep reading this article and youll find out! Upon seeing her coming back, you have this odd feeling that she may wants more that just be friends. Youll have another type with a stranger. Can Breaking Up Strengthen A Relationship? If you remember the quote above, you will understand that its up to your ex who has to do all the work from now on. To be honest, this strange phenomenon does not occur very often. The fact that your boyfriend still wants to be friends means he still wants you in his life. Should you really remain friends with an ex as a means of trying to get them back? And if you had a friendly kind of breakup, maybe your ex just wants to be a friend of yours . Im trying to talk to other people but it makes me feel like shit because I have my heart set on him and all the things we talked about and letting that go is hard. They Acknowledge Their Role In The Breakup. Honestly it hurt hearing that, I genuinely wished the best for her. ! Any person who values his or her moral values is going to regret his bad deeds at some point in the future. Your ex regrets breaking up with you. Your ex has lost love and respect for you. Remember, if you re-enter your exs life, you will do so as friends. In the breakup world, this is one of the worst things you can have. You cant talk your way back into a relationship. Could I accept her back into my life? Youre thinking that this isnt what you actuallywant deep down, but this will at least allow you to still be in contact with this person that you care so much about. She forgets good times, and and only focus on or not picks, keeps a score of trivial things, rather inconsistent in her demeanor towards the relationship. . Why does my ex want to be friends years later? Instead, you present yourself as the opposite needy and insecure. You are only hurting yourself if you can't be true to your own feelings. situation to come back from. "If they're texting you that they want to hang out, that they miss you, that they've made a mistake . 9. She offered me We can still hang out and have fun. Consider for a moment the stories you hear online like this, Where a couple goes from friends to lovers., The one common theme you see in those stories is the fact that it took time before one person was ready to date.. She has over six years of experience writing in various fields including finance, education, lifestyle, and entertainment. I just want to be able to be "friendly". By purposefully putting yourself in the friend zone you are adding more time to your sentence. One of the reasons is that they like to share resources and help each other out. Others will avoid you like the plague. THAT would have been nice. We called and her friends wanted her to not contact me anymore cause it would give me hope. January 18, 2023 | 5:44pm. It's almost a year since the divorce went through and I get a message out of the blue from her: If your ex boyfriend/girlfriend wants to be friends, it also means that she/he is confused and wants to keep all the options open. When youre thinking, My ex wants to stay friends what should I do, youre actually not asking the right question. There could be reasons ranging from regrets to a desire for intimacy. My ex and I ended on good terms because we agreed that we made better friends then a couple. Your ex isnt the one that should determine your actions; you have to follow your heart. Youll probably have a different one altogether with your lover. My ex husband was not ready for the real world consequences of leaving his marriage so he had been moving slowly. Hi, my ex and I broke up 18 months ago. Then she would say if no phone then theres no relationship. So he wants to still be friends and text and hang out and do all the things like before just not have sex. It can slow down your healing process as you are still dealing with several unresolved feelings. Above I believe I made a pretty strong case that human beings are very self interested creatures and most of the time when an ex wants to be friends with you its because it serves them in some way. Allow Yourself Time to Grieve. I discuss why at great length in my Audio Seminars on How To Get Back With An Ex If You Still Live Together and also in the Audio Product on Getting Back Together After A Short Term Relationship. I went no contact for 37 days and he texted me two days ago and therefore broke no contact. I say you should accept the friendship from your ex, and behave no differently than you did when you were in indefinite no contact. He had not been in a serious relationship for 8 years. It doesnt matter whether hes the only friend in your life, and how much youve bent over backward for him or her in the past. Take your time when it comes to responding. If your ex wants to have a conversation with you, and you simply ignore that wish, how do you think rekindling is ever going to work?
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